kristin has been a bad kristin
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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