He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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