Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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