Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize