Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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