Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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