guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
