I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Randomize
