First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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