who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
