I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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