I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize