I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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