So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
