Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
