If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
