I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
