I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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