yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
