lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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