Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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