so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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