Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize