Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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