Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
