accomplished twins. life is a go
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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