I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
