i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
