I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
