There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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