Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
