Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My friends, they love my intelligence
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
