At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
