What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
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Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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