I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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