she takes plan B like it's going out of style
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
