I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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