Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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