Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
