I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
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