Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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