does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My penis needs a shock collar
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
