Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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