She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
