Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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