Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
