You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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