i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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