i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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