So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
