so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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