I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
