the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
