Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
