how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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