it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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