I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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