My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
