well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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