im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
