Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
