I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
