I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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