Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
