Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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