I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
