apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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