I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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